The Bravest Person I Ever Knew
My daughter Kelcey was the bravest person I ever knew. She was one of three siblings that came to our home to be the fourth, fifth and six children in our family. Being the older sister, she already had those traits of courage as she guided her two younger brothers, John, age six, and Kevin age five, through the experience of moving from foster homes in another state to a permanent family in Pennsylvania. She was a lovely little girl, weighing only about what a four-year old would weigh, when we adopted her at age eight. She had an eating disorder that the psychiatrists said was due to the fact that she equated food with love. Feeling unloved, she would eat sparingly. Of course we hoped she would do better after being settled in a loving environment.
Kelcey was always thin to the point she looked like a starving orphan. She did her best as she grew up to gain weight, and would proudly let me know when she hit first 100 pounds, then 110, then finally 125 pounds. She looked like a model, tall and thin, so I entered her in a modeling contest with her younger sister. She proudly strutted through the contest, though not winning. The practice modeling we videoed will be a precious memory forever.
After Kelcey met her future partner and they had a child, Adam, she was diagnosed with cancer of the uterus. She was living in another state at the time, so the family was not told of her illness. By the time her son was two years ago and she had fought the cancer with chemo, she moved back to Pennsylvania with her child, separating from her partner. The cancer had spread to her breast and she had first one mastectomy, then another. She bravely went through more chemo, then reconstructive surgery. Even losing all her hair did not dampen her spirits. She proudly wore a wig to her brother David Scott’s wedding.
When her son Adam was eight years old, Kelcey was having back pain. She returned to her local oncologist who ordered more MRI’s. This was about Christmas time and I was home for the holidays from Florida where I had retired.
I accompanied her to the cancer center to get the results of the testing. It was my first experience actually seeing the cancer, a living thing. Her spine was totally black with it. No wonder she had back pain. There was also a tumor in her brain as well as a spot on her hip. The doctor showed us both the pictures of her poor body. He said with radiation, they could kill it. I believed him, but now I think Kelcey knew the chances were slim.
That very day they drew the circles on her where she would be radiated. I overheard the nurse saying it was unusual that they were doing three places at one time. The treatment was to start almost immediately. She was to have ten days of radiation and then more tests.
Her estranged partner, Adam’s father, came to Pennsylvania to be with her. They had a cordial relationship, but Kelcey was still insisting her sister, Kristal, take care of Adam, giving him a mother and father as well as the extended family he had in Pennsylvania.
Since the holiday was over, I was returning to my part-time job in Florida, I asked the doctor if I should cancel my trip. He assured me, it would be fine and I could return home. I left a few days later as she was to begin her treatment.
In the meantime, Kelcey was making plans. She asked her sister to take care of her son if she was unable to do so. All of our adopted children had especially close relationships with each other and Kristal said she would take care of Adam if necessary, but she too was hopeful the radiation would kill the cancer.
As bad luck would have it, the machine for the radiation broke down and her treatment could not start as scheduled. Meanwhile, she began making plans for her own funeral. She gave instructions on what hymns to sing, who would do the eulogy, where she was to be buried, and most of all, how to break the news to Adam.
We were still hopeful when the treatment finally started. However, the monster that cancer is had other plans. She worsened in the first few days of treatment. Still upbeat, she endured the trips to the cancer center and radiation. We talked on the phone and I could hear the weakness in her voice. She still spoke positively, but had faced her death, better than I did.
On the ninth day of her ten day treatment plan, an ambulance was called. Family was at her bedside as she labored to breathe. She was too weak to talk on the phone by now, but could move her head in answer to questions. Thanks to her care, she was not in pain and was at peace. They called me and told me her death was imminent. Twenty minutes later Kelcey died.
It had been only three weeks since the doctor told me her cancer could be treated. I guess, technically, it was. But I wondered, if the machine had not broken down, would she still be alive and have a chance? If I had been a better mother, could I have kept the cancer from eating her life away? Or, was it a part of her since birth and nothing any of us could have done differently.
We know the kind of cancer that took her ran in the females in families and we were told to caution her siblings, especially her biological niece.
The funeral was exactly as she had planned it. All the family came as well as her adoption caseworker from all those years earlier. Old friends and new came to pay their respects. She was buried in the family plot on the outskirts of the town where she grew up. The mountains in the background and the expanse of green for miles around made for a perfect setting. Eight year old Adam didn’t seem to realize exactly what was happening at the cemetery, but maybe he was reconciled to the loss from years of his mother’s illness.
After more than a year with his Aunt and Uncle, Adam’s birth father and grandmother felt they could give him the care a growing boy needed and he moved to be with them in Michigan. He visits in Pennsylvania every summer and has accompanied his other Aunt and Uncle to Florida to visit me. I haven’t been able to say this to him, but maybe this writing will let him know that she was the bravest woman I ever knew and is remembered with much love by all of her family.
I hope my hero in the mystery novels I write have that same character traits of courage and caring. Kelcey’s story will be part of my memoir, yet to be written. In the meantime, please visit my website www.kathymckenzierunk.com and my writing blog www.kathymckenzierunk.wordpress.com to learn more about my wonderful family and my writings.
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From Junior Journalist to Mystery Writer 